QUOTES FROM THE COPS AND ROBBERS GAME
compiled by Amy Luther
A few months back, I ran an experimental two-player game, in which one player committed a series of crimes in Night City, and the second player attempted to track him down. I ran each player separately, tape-recorded the sessions, transcribed them, and used the notes to prepare for the other half of the game.
In the "robber" half of the game, Gary Astleford ran a kneecapper and sometime hit man by the name of Salvatore Scagnetti. Sal came to Night City from Chicago and joined up with the local mafiosos, thereupon embarking upon a life of crime: six murders, two accessories to murder, one kidnapping, and one body disposal.
In the "cop" half of the game, Joseph Kilcoyne ran an NCPD Homicide detective sergeant named David Nobel. Nobel and his partner, Detective Christopher Nichols, arrived on an unusual murder scene early on a Saturday morning. Little did they know this was the result of the activities of one Salvatore Scagnetti...
In the course of the game, Sal killed Nichols, but ultimately remained at large, despite some excellent detective work by Sergeant Nobel.
Transcripts of several of the games (less the second "robber" game, erased due to technical difficulties) will be made available soon, for those of you who are asking, "Exactly how did you pull this off?" Gary played four games, and Joe played in three.
To give credit where credit is due, the idea for this game was inspired by Steve Lacey.
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Robber Quotes - Words of wisdom spoken in the "robbers" game. The PC is Salvatore Scagnetti.
I go to the term and punch in "Mafia."
Don't I look like a mafioso?
I'd like to place an ad. "Small-time hood looking to break some kneecaps. If you need somebody done, contact me at ..."
If I were as pleased to meet you as you are to meet me, I'd be dead.
Look -- I'm down to forty bucks. I don't care who I kill.
Are people likely to take their guns in the shower with them?
Do mafiosos confess to murders?
Jeez, everybody knows where I live but me.
There's me wanting to shoot her, and then there's me wanting to exact some kind of physical revenge.
I got a hole in my jacket. It just so happens that the hole goes all the way through me.
NPC - Now... I need to be honest with you. I don't quite have the full go-ahead to do this.
PC - But you want me to do it anyway.
NPC - Right.
PC - And what if it turns out that you don't get the go-ahead at all? I get to be a scapegoat?
NPC - Well... yes.
GM - Normally, this job would pay about 8k...
PC - But for me?
PC - And if I fuck it up, he's just going to forget about me.
GM - Yep.
PC - So I'd better not fuck it up.
GM - Yep.
NPC - All right. Did you have any entanglements?
PC - There's a living witness.
NPC - Really.
PC - Uh-huh.
NPC - Who might that be?
PC - A little white fuzzy cat.
NPC - I see. Well, we'll have to put a contract out on it, and make sure it doesn't testify.
PC - Do mafiosos confess to murders?
GM - Yep.
PC - What kind of penance do they have to do?
GM - I guess you'll find out.
NPC - I'm sure I can find a worthy cause for it.
PR - I'm sure you can.
NPC - Widows and orphans. Especially manufactured ones.
NPC - This ain't so bad. I been in those Metro Cars. You can't even sit up in them. Sides, there's some space in the back, there.
PC - Yeah, easier to hide the bodies.
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Cop Quotes - And, on the other side of the thin blue line, we have "cop" comments. The PC is Detective Sergeant David Nobel.
We probably have some good drugs for her at the precinct, though.
Sergeant, please report to the lieutenant's office immediately. Your ass is on fire.
I know what they are, I'm just not very good at stitching them together.
Let's see... chicken flavored kibble, beef flavored kibble, soy flavored kibble... wait a minute ...
I can just see this lost bunch of Japanese tourists driving through the Combat Zone in a little rental car.
Well, I'm probably the only guy in the whole trailer park with an automatic shotgun.
I'm afraid somebody extradited him... ah, somewhere else.
I can't really use police money for this, can I?
Nice people don't work for the Mob.
NPC - Well, I hate to have to ruin your day for you, but...
PC - Ah, well, that's okay. I'm sure somebody would.
PC - Is it obvious that the camera's there?
GM - Yes.
PC - That's odd. Well, rampaging boyfriends can be weird.
PC - That's actually a good idea.
GM - And, if it's not?
PC - Oh, well.
GM - Both of them are wearing dark clothing. One of them is wearing an overcoat and one's wearing a suit jacket.
PC - Do I notice any, ah, unseemly bulges?
PC - Sounds like a nice guy. How big was he?
NPC - Oh, six one, six two. He wasn't so much big as he was built like a wall. And he had this round face. And he was very cheerful, and he always wore a suit. I thought that was very sweet. He was very nice.
PC - He was probably the highest paid contract killer in the city.
GM - You get to the hospital and go through the lobby to the security station. You go over there, introduce yourself, show your badge, sign in, and they issue you a pass. And they tell you, very strictly, to make sure that you turn it in before you leave.
PC - I put on my straightest face and agree with them.
GM - Your neighbors have come to rely on you whenever they hear a bump in the night.
PC - Well, I'm probably the only guy in the whole trailer park with an automatic shotgun.
PC - I need to get some pictures from you, if that's possible...
NPC - What kind of pictures? Naked lieutenant pictures?
PC - Well, I wasn't thinking of that, but if you could swing it...
PC - Ah, hi. This is Detective Sergeant David Nobel, of the Night City Police Department.
NPC - Yeah, you're calling about Mr. Galvano.
PC - Yes.
NPC - Are you guys ready to extradite his ass yet?
PC - Um... I'm afraid somebody extradited him... ah, somewhere else.